You may or may not have heard the edict “presume competence.”  It is a crucial part of creating neuro-affirming spaces.  I was first introduced to it through the world of supporting non-speaking or minimally-speaking Autistics in the film “This is Not About Me,” featuring Jordyn Zimmerman. In the movie, Jordyn shares her experiences as a non-speaking Autistic child who was underestimated and infantilized. She was not given access to communication until the age of eighteen when she finally received an AAC (Augmentative and Adaptive Technology) device.  Jordyn is now an advocate and embodies the importance of presuming competence in our students.

With the surge of the neurodiversity movement, access to robust communication is gaining recognition as a critical part of supporting all brains and abilities.  

As an elementary music teacher, I learned the concept of “presuming competence.” This mindset means that even if a student is unable to respond verbally or participate in class, I assume that they are fully engaged thinkers and feelers with the ability to learn. 

Hearing the stories of young adults who are at last able to access communication has been a powerful reminder that just because a student cannot use speech to communicate does not mean that they do not have a story to tell!  

This is also why the Autistic community is asking people to stop using the term “non-verbal” with slogans like “non-speaking but very verbal.”  The former term “non-verbal” implied that they were also non-thinking; however, as we see from the books, poems, and songs created by the non-speaking and “speller” communities, nothing could be further from the truth.  The movie Spellers is at the top of my list to see as it shares the stories of Autistics who communicate using a letter board and communication partner.  This method is sometimes preferred due to conditions like dyspraxia or apraxia, which cause disruption in motor planning and make using devices like an iPad incompatible with their needs. 

I was thinking about the traction that the phrase “presume competence” has gotten in the disability community, and I began to reflect on hidden disabilities — specifically, the often misdiagnosed or, at the very least, misunderstood profile of Autism called PDA.  PDA stands for “Pathological Demand Avoidance” or one of the more neuro-affirming descriptions, “Persistent Drive for Autonomy.” 

PDAers may present as being more “social” (insert eye roll!) because of their use of eye contact and communication skills. People often misunderstand that the support needs of a PDA nervous system increase when they are in an environment that prioritizes compliance.

I propose the use of a new phrase to guide our support of all individuals: “presume need.” While I am not claiming to be the first to say this, I have not encountered it before. 

“Presuming need” means that when someone is struggling, we meet them where they are and provide accommodations and supports, even if they do not have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) or diagnosis. This is in line with giving someone the “benefit of the doubt,” which is, unfortunately, a benefit not usually extended to children. 

In my experience as a public school teacher and late-diagnosed Autistic mother to two neurodivergent (listed as such to protect their privacy) sons, I have heard countless conversations in which the adults assume that a child’s difficulties are a choice.  ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) and PBIS (Positive Behavior Intervention and Support) are based on the outdated assumption that children’s actions or “behaviors” are to get something or to get out of something.  They are based on the belief that the “behavior” serves a positive function for the child, and they are therefore benefiting from it. (Check out the replay of the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint’s recent conference on this topic!)

Practice is beginning to catch up to the neuroscience of the nervous system, which shows this to be untrue.  

What if we assumed that a child who is struggling needs support? What if we gave them that additional support without shame or blame?

You may be familiar with other reframes of behaviors, such as “a child is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time.”  What if we take that further and presume that a child who is having a hard time is demonstrating that they need something?  

My mind goes to two different concepts, both introduced to me through the work of clinical psychologist, author, and founder of “Lives in the Balance,” Dr. Ross Greene. In reading his book Lost At School, which outlines how to use “Collaborative and Proactive Solutions,” I first learned the terms “unmet needs” and “lagging skills.”  He proposes working toward meeting a child’s unmet needs and developing their lagging skills in the same way we create academic goals in an IEP (Individualized Education Plan).  

The second concept from Dr. Greene’s book that aligns with “presuming need” is that children should not require a diagnosis to receive our help.

In the US, where there have been extensive waitlists for Autism evaluations, diagnosis remains a privilege.  The current spread of misinformation about Autism has led some to cancel appointments for Autism evaluations out of fear of privacy protections. 

If we see less formal diagnoses, it will be even more critical to meet children where they are.

What if we presumed that every child is “trying their best” and doing what they can in that moment?  

“But he’s so capable.”  

I have heard this phrase multiple times about one of my sons. The word “but” indicates judgment about his struggles, not an appreciation of his strengths. It has been used as a reason to deny him supports and accommodations that he absolutely needed. I wonder if those who spoke about him considered that his difficulty was not a choice or a reflection of his effort but rather evidence that he needed help. How different would his past few years of school have been? Where would he be now academically?  How much confidence could he have built with that support? 

My work with children always circles back to my experiences in Butler University’s Applied Educational Neuroscience program with Dr. Lori Desautels. Learning about nervous system regulation and our brain’s ability for neuroplasticity further supports how supporting a child’s needs, with or without a diagnosis, will help wire their brains and bodies for connection.  

Recently, I opened my music room door to greet a class and noticed a substitute leading them to my room. I was not surprised when one of the students immediately started running around the room with what looked like a smile on their face. I have come to learn that our adult interpretation of a child’s feelings based on their facial expression is often wrong. This child was not having fun; they were dysregulated.  

Another adult saw the running child and tried to move in with a stern verbal redirection, but I now understand behaviors like this as stress responses. Having a substitute teacher, a stranger you do not feel safe with, instead of the warmth and understanding of your regular classroom teacher, can be extremely dysregulating for elementary students.  

I also knew that being spoken to sternly by adults with disappointed faces would further escalate this particular child’s stress response, so I intervened. I got low and spoke quietly with a concerned look on my face.  I empathized that it is so hard when your teacher is absent. I offered to get out a ukulele I knew they enjoyed and felt a shift in their energy. We got a ukulele and a tuner, and they got to work while I helped their classmates in centers. They sat down and plucked away the entire class. No more running. No need for yelling or shaming. 

Is that student “capable” of participating in class?  Yes, when they are regulated. He showed me that day that he needed me. It wasn’t a choice.

Let’s shift the conversation to how we can meet students where they are each day, each hour, and each minute, as the landscape of our nervous systems is constantly changing.  How can we meet their struggles with empathy and support instead of judgment and punishment?  

What if we presume a need when our students are struggling?