I am honored that Guy has asked me to share my story; his work is an inspiration. I am not a therapist or clinical worker, but I am a parent who shares the experience of raising kids with challenges who are misunderstood and struggle in our current systems. I am passionate about making my community trauma-aware and doing better for our youth. Like Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” With all the research about neuroscience, we definitely know better!
My journey started sitting in the Emergency Room with my struggling 14-year-old child. It was a crazy experience that made little sense. I knew at that moment that I wanted to help others in similar situations one day. It took a few years to feel stable enough to provide that support, and luckily, this job was available at just the right time. I am able to use my experience as a teacher and parent with lived experience to help families and children with empathy and compassion. As the Family and Child Advocate at Mental Health America (MHA) of Lancaster County, I am reminded daily why I chose this path—to support families navigating the complex mental health system while raising children with unique challenges.
I try to be the support I needed in the midst of my journey.
Having walked the same path as the parents I support, I know firsthand the frustration and confusion that can come with seeking help for a child in need. I make sure to educate caregivers and providers about the laws regarding the mental health age of consent. In PA, it is referred to as ACT 65. For many years, it was misunderstood, which led to many children between the ages of 14-17 being sent home without the critical care they needed. Raising a child with challenges is overwhelming and isolating. I believe that parents with lived experience offer the best support because we understand the complexity of the system and the emotional toll it can take. We often fail to take time to care for ourselves or show ourselves grace and compassion in difficult moments. We need to support each other!
As a parent who understands, I can help families understand and navigate the mental health system. I can support families with school advocacy and help them understand IEPs and 504s or guide them through the process of obtaining necessary services. I ensure parents feel heard, understood, and empowered to advocate for their children.
Becoming trauma-informed was life-changing for me and my family. Seeing things through this new lens was my aha moment.
It finally all made sense. I work hard to share this knowledge with families and children so they can finally understand what is driving the behaviors and how to address their needs. I strive to create an environment where parents and children feel safe, connected, and understood. This means recognizing the impact of trauma on behavior and development and using this understanding to inform my advocacy work.
A significant part of my work involves understanding the neuroscience behind behaviors. By educating parents and educators about the brain and nervous system, I help them see behaviors through a scientific lens. This knowledge can shift perspectives, leading to more compassionate and effective interventions. Understanding the root causes of behaviors allows us to address them in a way that supports the child’s overall well-being. This includes teaching caregivers and youth about the flipped lid theory by Dr. Dan Siegel. Children often feel relieved when they understand this is a biological stress response and that they aren’t a “bad kid.” Helping caregivers understand the power of co-regulation helps children learn to regulate rather than escalate things further and prevents the dreaded power struggle. I share the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences and the hope of Positive Childhood Experiences in mitigating the effects of ACEs. We fear what we don’t understand, so learning about the why is a game changer for creating change and seeing a child differently. My favorite quote is by Dr Stuart Shanker– “See a child differently, see a different child.” We know from the work of Dr. Ross Greene that most behaviors stem from unmet needs or lagging skills and that punitive discipline is not going to change that. In fact, it will most likely make things worse.
By fostering a trauma-informed community, we can help children and families heal and thrive.
Collaboration is key to effective advocacy. I work closely with schools and community services to ensure that children receive the appropriate supports and accommodations. This often involves attending meetings, facilitating communication between parents and school staff, and advocating for necessary changes. My goal is to create a collaborative environment where everyone works together to support the child’s needs. Far too often, we work from silos and not collaboratively, which disrupts the continuum of care. By working together and educating those involved, I hope to create change and disrupt the school-to-prison pipeline. I see the adverse effects of our current punitive responses to behaviors and know we can do better with our most vulnerable and misunderstood children. Using universal trauma-informed practices harms no one, but our current system is harming our most vulnerable youth.
At the heart of my role is compassionate and empathetic listening. I provide a safe space for parents to share their stories, frustrations, and hopes. Listening with empathy not only validates their experiences but also builds trust and rapport. So many times, I hear, “You are the first person to truly listen.” It’s through this connection that I can offer compassion and hope.
Ultimately, my dream is for Lancaster to become a trauma-informed community where everyone feels safe, connected, and competent.
These are basic needs of all humans. A place where stories are shared without judgment, and where children and families can feel heard and understood. Through my work at MHA, I am committed to making this dream a reality by educating, advocating, and supporting children and families in my community.
Being the Family and Child Advocate at MHA of Lancaster County is more than just a job. I often say it feels like a calling. I use my lived experience to support and empower other parents, advocating for children’s needs and fostering a trauma-informed community. It’s about understanding the neuroscience of behaviors and navigating the mental health system with compassion and empathy. Every day, I strive to make a difference, knowing that even the smallest act of support can have a profound impact on the lives of the families I serve. As a fun twist, I often joke that this job fills my cup because people actually want my help and support—unlike my own family, who never seem to ask for my advice. You know how it goes, ‘What does Mom know?’”
Be sure to follow Mental Health America (MHA) of Lancaster County on Facebook and Instagram.
